The psychiatrist and writer Francoise Millet-Bartoli makes us a report on the real reasons and you will not surprise to know that the need to please and to seduce are most important. Some of us like to change their hair color frequently; others retain their natural color. For Francoise Millet-Bartolli the care that we wear our hair is never trivial.
Francoise Millet-Bartoli: There is a symbolism of hair, length, texture and of course, color. We are still strongly influenced by the marked connotation of the color we wear naturally. Although it is not possible to establish a rule, we tend to associate more the blond to our childhood, our family history, while brown rather more spicy connotation, more seductive. If the natural color is important, that we choose in an act of coloring is very significant because it follows a determined stance, aware.
By radically changing color, what message are we trying to convey?
Francoise Millet-Bartoli: The desire of a strong change, be it in the cut or color, is often linked to important moments of our lives. Difficulties, bereavement, separation, shock, professional or personal change course: these events are often the origin of this metamorphosis. It’s a way to give us the strength to start again, with a personality that we want better equipped to face life, in any case, different. The color radical changes are often a way to get together, to be more in tune with ourselves.Then we keep this new head, leaving the former to our life « before ».
Some also see the color change in a way to shock, to stand out, to announce a disagreement, a deep desire to challenge. This is often the case for changing teenagers who give themselves the language of hair to speak better of themselves. There he is a cape, a transition that leads to something else generally calmer and wiser.
What’s a regular change of color say about us?
Francoise Millet-Bartoli: Swapping a head for another, a style to another can be, for some of us, a rite of passage. For others, the color such as cutting, are accessories. Those that are constantly changing, moving from brown to red, from red to blonde, meet another psychological approach. It is a quest for a new self-image, that one seeks sometimes without ever finding it. These women are often looking for some stability in their identity, which requires that before the test, they put it to the test. It passes through the body and in particular the hair. It is a narcissistic approach is not without revealing a certain fragility.
What is a color brings in our relationship with others?
Francoise Millet-Bartoli: A new hair color happens primarily between self and self. We face our mirror at home or hairdresser if we preferred to trust him. Then, coming out of the living room or pushing the door of the house, we face the gaze of the other. The eyes of the other then so are a real mirror. It can cause pain if that person does not notice a change we wanted just remarkable.
We then run the risk of feeling absent, unavailable, unrecognized. A new haircut, a new color usually go together. They aim to make us more comfortable with our bodies, but tend a pole to those watching.We want to please, but also seduce or, in any case induce a different look at itself, either in seduction or challenge.
When the result is not the one expected, the color may therefore undermine self-image?
Francoise Millet-Bartoli: Absolutely, we can not recognize us when the change was too radical. In these cases, a sense of depersonalization may appear, as might be the case following a cosmetic surgery. The advantage of the color is that it is still reversible. However, keep in mind that women magnet change color regularly, this gesture can be something fun but also very scary. He is never without impact on the image we have of ourselves.
This « self-discovery » is it the same in a woman who colors her hair while maintaining its natural color (scans, etc.)? Francoise Millet-Bartoli: These women are generally comfortable with their image, identity deep. This does not prevent them from having sometimes feel like just small changes in nuance, to affirm this notion of taking care of yourself, beauty. Then one can indeed speak of narcissism but in a positive way. Like the body care, color – such as cuts elsewhere – are part of these procedures we put in place to improve our image, our physical. This gesture helps to please oneself, to have a self-image that corresponds to an ideal that we would like to achieve. This approach is not only normal but also beneficial.
What does this light change color from us?
Francoise Millet-Bartoli: There is always, in this type of coloration, a seductive approach. The question that then needs to be asked is « Who are we trying to attract? « Is that one tries to seduce oneself, to please? Do you want rather seduce others? Each of us has his own answer.
Women bend more to natural colors. Are we in tune with ourselves before?
Francoise Millet-Bartoli: Whether makeup, coloring, or even cosmetic surgery, it now tends to return to the natural. Today, any measure which falls within the beauty must be the least possible. This trend is also observed in our food, our wardrobe … We are no longer in the sophistication of the 1990s.
We want, instead, be more authentic, more in tune with ourselves. We are not necessarily more comfortable with our image before, but we seek to be. It’s in the air.
Women who accept their gray hairs are they the result of this quest for authenticity?
Francoise Millet-Bartoli: Some women wearing their white hair is in harmony with their real image.Natural succession remain so often a choice. But we must not forget that some retain their gray hairs – or original color for that matter – because they may have some fear of the changes caused by staining.Change her hair color often involves a change in his way of dressing, behaving … We are not ready to accept these changes.
Finally, this urge to natural succession sometimes simply a lack of interest in what concerns the physical aspect. In some women, the aesthetic is not the priority. They want to be seduced by weapons other than their physical, their intellect, for example.
Keep his white hair and even maintain so is a sign of self-assertion or claim?
Francoise Millet-Bartoli: Accept the passing of time can first meet of aesthetics, particularly in women who maintain their White hair. These women assume as they are and take care of them. They can be seductive in this double approach – of self and others – we spoke earlier.
But in some cases, take his white hair can indeed also be a protest sign. Some stop to dye the hair to 50-60 years old, or even younger sometimes. They then entered a new stage of maturity in self-acceptance. Assuming their white hair, they are freed from the gaze of others to live fully.